"Don't Worry, Be Happy"

Dreams, everyone has them. I know that I've had my fair share from desperately wanting to be a princess as an imaginative five year old to hoping I would be a nurse anesthetist my freshman year of college. The neat thing about dreams is that they constantly evolve, some of them are fleeting hopes and others last forever. For example, I never became a princess and I am still waiting for my Hogwarts acceptance letter (I don't think it helps that my apartment lacks a fireplace) and I ended up graduating as an English major(which you might find hard to believe for my punctuation and grammatical errors please forgive me...sorry Mrs. D). Currently however, I have the dream of becoming a comedian and that is what actually has brought me to the Big Windy. As some of you know, I had an anonymous blog for awhile which highlighted my forays as a college senior. I spoke about everything from heartbreak to accidentally eating pot brownies but I have decided to transition to a blog that isn't as anonymous with the hopes that I can not only keep my parents informed (hi mom and dad) but also my friends and potentially some strangers who wander onto this blog. Some people will find this boring and that is completely legit but hopefully people are able to relate a little bit because it turns out we all have to wade through this crazy thing called life.

Moving to Chicago is by far one of the most bonkers things I have done. I literally went to my parents with the idea of attending comedy school and they told me I had to get a job. So, I got a job, graduated, worked at the most amazing place for the summer cough* (Camp Knutson) cough*, and moved to Chicago. At the time of my move I was eager to get to the big city and be on my way but recently reality has been slapping me back in the face. I would be completely lying if I said everything has been easy and the Band Perry would probably write a song about me (free shot of crown if you got that country reference, which reminds me I still owe Ally for completing a tweet of mine when I first moved here, haven't forgotten Ally!) There have been days where I have utterly wanted to quit and move back home. Thank goodness for the immense support of family and friends, you know who you are:) and new friends in Chicago. One of the lessons I have learned while living here so far is that moving to a city where you don't know a single soul makes life a little harder. The first night after my dad drove away I had a choice to make, do I stay in my apartment by myself on a Friday night and enjoy some netflix? Or, do I go out to a bar, all by myself. I surprised myself and decided to go out to the bar in the basement of my building and one down the street. It was terrifying, I didn't know what I was getting myself into and lets be honest, I was used to wearing just some skinnies and a tank top to club Scoe's in Decorah, not the dressed to the nines, dress, boots, and blazer look to knock back a few, which I admit I have started to wear...sorry. I trekked down to the bar in my basement and ordered a 312. I am pretty sure I stuck out like a sore thumb for awhile, I mean who goes to a bar by themselves? Well everything turned out just fine, I actually talked to a few people who invited me to join in their dart game and I also met the guy who would become my comedic partner. I guess what I am getting at is that sometimes the hardest things to do are the best choices for you. I still constantly struggle with my move to Chicago. Don't get me wrong, I love it here but I also have built up a life back home and it has been hard to have the familiarity shattered. I have always been lucky to have my routine and the ability to go virtually next door to hang out with my closest friends. To go to their dorm rooms when I needed them or even drive the 2.5 hours back home when I needed some good old fashioned Luana cooking. Now I have to be creative and schedule times to talk with my friends and plan weeks in advance to book a flight home. Sometimes though, these are the sacrifices we have to make.

My priorities have always been my family and friends and I honestly don't think that will ever change but there are times you have to follow your dreams and right now I need to follow mine. Gosh I totally sound cliche and for that I am deeply apologetic.

Anyways, I guess I am just trying to reach out to the people who are in the midst of a transition, it is perfectly fine to have your moments of weakness but don't forget your victories however small they may be. A few weeks ago I was feeling down cause a booking agent kept passing me over for a more seasoned comedian (I don't blame him) but then when I needed it most, I got an email that I had sold 2 sketches. I may not have made a ton of money off of them and I don't think they were even used but it was a small success in this crazy little journey. The past two weeks have been really rough but that is just how the cookie crumbles. Not only do I have amazing friends and family (I don't think I can say this enough) but, I have many things to be thankful for (including this gorgeous weather). I gave myself a year to try it out here and will be going through my first audition on April 25th and will know by the time my lease is up in November whether or not I can make it as a comedian and even if that doesn't work out, I am submitting a screenplay to an agency hopefully in May. I will most definitely still have my days where I want to quit and go home but I will also have days where I revel in the triumphs whether that be scoring an audition or performing a 10 minute set for a completely drunk audience at 11:30 pm (happened, and they were my best crowd, liquor helps) but at least I am trying. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, but I think at this point I just need to take life by the horns and live without holding back. I am 22 and already have regrets which I find a little sad, and I know I am not the only one. Life is no fun to look back on and think about the should-ah, would-ah, could-ahs. I have decided to adopt this for my various facets and I am pleased to find out that most of my friends and my whole family are embracing it and helping me out. If it weren't for them, I honestly don't know if I could do this.

Gosh I am so sorry that this has been the cheesiest post ever and I hope that I have some more interesting ones as I continue this nutso life choice I have made. Also, please don't judge me if I don't make it as a comedian because I very well might not. If is the case then, I will fully pursue the writing aspect with a screenplay and will definitely write you in as an unlikable Steve Buscemi character (he is probably a super nice guy but he always plays the creeps) and even if that doesn't work out, it might pop on the interwebs or those youtubes. Anyways hopefully ya come back when I post again and if ya don't good luck to you in whatever the dreams you choose to pursue. I hope you just keep the promise that I have made to let yourself be happy because you never really know how long the happiness might last before you find something else that brings you joy.

Until Next Time,

Amy